Regret.. what else?

You do mistakes. You hurt others.You realize them at last and regret begins.

Your regret cannot heal the wounds of ones you’ve hurt. Now what? 

Now, you apologize. Apologizing doesn’t heal your loved ones. You feel trapped for what you can do now to start things again. That’s the moment when real regret begins.

Nothing can reverse the time you’wasted. No reasons become acceptable for what you’ve done.

You start burning inside. Sometimes , for the ones you’ve hurt and other times for yourself. You cannot look into their eyes and neither yours . You just feel like crying and screaming. 

Mirror starts haunting you. You start avoiding eye contact with everyone including yourself. Your mind keeps on finding ways how to make things better and tears, they become your partners during solitude.

Sometimes,  your guilt becomes less than your care for ones you’be hurt. You think of yourself as a deserved one of pain, but you care for ones you’ve made suffer. You want to make them feel better, but your every initiative fails. Your mistake has broken people’s faith on you.You feel obsessed with guilt.

Sometimes, you feel egoistic. You feel like yes  I’ve done mistake but these people aren’t forgiving me, it’s their folly. The next moment you realize the deepness to which you’ve hurt them and remorse is whatever left with you.

You don’t seek for love. You seek for two things. Firstly , the forgiveness to lessen the weight from your shoulders  and secondly, some respect. You start doing things to a high level so that you can get some self -respect.

You keep on searching for ways to comfort them and yourself , by thinking about stories that even robbers became hermits by penance.

What’s your penance? What could be done to make things normal? You feel trapped within these questions.

You start taking care of people you’ve done wrong with and start hurting yourself.

You keep on hurting yourself. For ex- you don’t visit gym to build yourself rather you do it to hurt yourself. You lift heavier than limits and fail.That’s what you think will heal everything.

At last, you keep trying and let the time heals everything. You show extra care to people, so that one day they’ll forgive you.

And you’ll be able to look into your own eyes and say.. yes, I did it. 

You just wait. 

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