Envy and hate. 

I hate you. I envy you.  

I hate your pride of being strong. I want to see you hurt, to see you feeling what I feel. I want you to be insecure of losing me. I envy your strength. I hate the fact that you’ll survive in this destruction of emotions and I’ll be demolished. 

I hate that you’ll survive it like you did in your past and I won’t be able to love again coz’ this is my first one. 

I hate that you won’t stop me from leaving and I’ll return to you everytime myself and won’t let you leave either. 

I hate that I don’t sleep at nights and you enjoy your healthy sleep.  I hate that you stay calm and I wonder frustrated. 

I hate that I changed. I was you once and you were you. As the time passed, I became something else and you remained same. I became obsessed. You stayed carefree. 

I know you feel and are able to control things. I hate that you’ll control emotions for sake of practicality.  I hate that control. 

I hate that you possess freedom and I’m loving these boundaries. 

At last, I don’t hate you. I cannot hate anything about you. I don’t hate myself. I hate time, circumstances, emotions, everything else in the world but you and me. I love you. I love myself as well. 


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