Your know what’s the problem? 

The problem is in two words where I belong :

GENERAL. MALE. 





Lower Middle Class is another group of three words. When these two group of words combine together in your life, it means your life is a hopeless journey. Yes, it is. 

Phir le aaya dil, BARFI and Nostalgia 

I love giving music lessons. Firstly, it feels good to share what you love that much to people who are excited about it and secondly, it gives me amazing oppportunities to remind myself of songs I used to play, the stories I’ve shared with music ( every song has a a story you know). 

Yesterday, one of my students asked me to play “phir le aaya dil”, from the movie “Barfi”.  I played, he noted down, and left, and I was left with flashbacks. 

Barfi, 2012 was a special movie for me. I was super excited for it but the time it was released in theatres was of our exams, September 2012. They were preboards or something like that. So eventually, none of my friends agreed. I was single as well. Lol. 

I don’t deny watching it. Barfi is the only movie till now that I watched without anyone. I must be 15 or 16 then, idiotic teen.  I lied at home, went solo, took 1 ticket, watched the movie and came back home. 

Movie was definitely one of the most memorable one. Everything was just perfect. Ileana became the crush. Ranbir became the favourite actor after SRK., and barfi’s soundtrack became love. 

I used to sing in school and remember singing this one for a friend of mine in chemistry lab.  After years, yesterday, I sang, this time on guitar (I learnt instrument after school) and yes, I felt that overflow of nostalgia. 

Phir le aaya dil is a song about words that remained unsaid, mistakes that were done in past and now the destiny is again making two people stand in front of each other. Its time to amend the situation and make things better. Its time for love.

Its time for love. 

“Phir le aaya dil, majboor kya kije

Raas na aaya rehna door, kya kije ” 

Venom

The venom you spit

At my face, 

Do you know

What I’m going to do with that? 

I’m going to collect that in my mouth 

And kiss your mouth. 

A long passionate kiss. 

I’ll make you consume all of that poison

And make you die. 

Slowly. Painfully. 

I’ll follow. 

If you’ll run , I’ll run 

If you’ll fly , I’ll fly 

If you’ll hide in dark, I’ll chase your scent

If you’ll make me sore, I’ll make you repent

If you’ll bite me, I’ll bleed and hit you back

If you’ll crawl, I’ll pull you back 

If you’ll kill me, I swear I’ll reciprocate

If you’ll burn a street, I’ll burn the whole state

If you’ll jump off the edge, I’ll jump too. 

I will. 

Nothing is deeper than love except my squat. 

Nothing is deeper than love. Except my squat. My squat is deeper than any human emotion.

Squats or sit-ups. 

Before I went to gym, for me squats were the embarassing punishments we used to get for no homeworks, unpolished shoes, untucked shirts, improper uniform and so on.

I think they were the favourite punishment of teachers after “murga ban” i.e. become a rooster by squatting and then looping the arms behind the knees and firmly holding the ears. (Now, I guess that might be an exercise or a yoga pose of some kind). 

I remember holding the ears and hitting 50 for mild and 100 or 100+ for severe offense (mistakes), sometimes in front of class, sometimes the whole school. That felt way too bad and the sore muscles were another trouble. 

When I hit the gym for the first time and the trainer asked me to do sit ups, I was like.., “Have I committed a mistake?” but everyone was doing them including the giants and there was no exception.

Gradually, sit ups turned to heavy squats and then got heavier and  heavier. 
Now, I like doing them ( love and hate at the same time you know). 

Squats are strong. They can turn a small walk from stairs of the gym to the parking to really long one but they make you enormously strong. They do hurt but they do build you. The deeper, the better.  

From a school punishment to a hardcore exercise, squats were amazingly amazing. So, I’ll end this with repeating the same lines I got to read on the internet yesterday, 

Nothing is deeper than love. Except my squat. My squat is deeper than any human emotion

Which one is the better option?? 

Would you feel regret? 

If you’ll click on the link to my blog 

Years later

And find nothing about you. 

No words, no poetry. 

Not a single mention. All posts about you deleted. 

Would you feel hurt?? How much?? 

Or

If I’ll pour myself out here

Let all the world know you’re the reason

Of all the blood and words

And that I still crave for you. 

And you see it years later

Would you cry? Would you feel regret?

How much?? 

Tell me, how to make you more hurt. 

Which is the better option? 

I’ll choose the better one. Actually, the worse. Worse for you..  and me. 

Learn to walk alone. 

Learn to walk alone

Fight alone

Coz’ in the end, its only you. 

Just you. 

Nobody else is going to be there with you or for you. 

Learn to be alone. Learn to love loneliness. 

Coz’ ultimately you’ll end up like that. Alone. 

The reason is simple, we all have our own paths to walk. 

Neither anyone can walk for us, nor beside us forever. 

They have got their own paths. 

Learn. Learn asap. Learn before you bleed. 

Dream 

I am sitting on bed. 

My father is beside me. 

I’m calling her. I’m doing my best to not utter anything personal. 

She’s in happy mood. She wants to talk more. 

Please!! Sshh.. I’m with my father. 

She wants to listen something. 

I don’t know why I’m still on bed. I cannot move. 

Is father listening my conversation?? 

She’s talking a lot. She is a stubborn kid. 

I’m stuck. 

I woke up. Ohh.. That was a dream. Weird. Useless. I’m smiling. I’m blushing. I’m missing her. 

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